Bad Parenting - Good Parenting

 Hello everyone! Hope everything is going good with you all. It's been a pretty good week here with me. As someone who is not yet married, and doesn't have a family, I try to prepare myself as best I can for when that time does eventually come. Because when it does, I want to be ready to raise children of my own effectively. I've studied a lot of different good parenting techniques that will help when eventually raising children. 

There is a common misconception that being strict is important in raising children. This isn't necessarily true and can even mislead parents into raising children in a way that is not healthy. What's far more important than strictness, is being consistent, confident, and constantly showing warmth. It is very important to remain consistent in our behavior. If we tell our kids not to do something, and then we do that same thing multiple times, our children are more likely to break that rule because the parent is not being consistent in their own behavior. It is important to note that kids are pretty fast learners and can usually pick things up fairly quickly, and it is also important to let them take their share of the responsibility. Kids want to help, and they want to have those opportunities to help around the house. When we do for others what they can do for themselves, they begin to be dependent and feel resentful. So usually when parents try to force their kids to do things later on in life, like during their teenager years, they are less likely to obey because they have already become complacent. We need to teach our children during their younger years the need to contribute. 

There are many different needs that children have, and there also different ways parents can approach their children's needs. One need of children is to have constant contact. When they don't feel enough of this need met, children have the tendency to act out and seek undue attention. The parental approach for this need is to offer contact freely, and to help them feel that warmth. Another need for children is to feel belonging. The mistaken approach that kids often use when not enough of this need is met, is that they rebel or try to control others. The parental approach is to help kids overtime to develop more responsibility, and to make choices for themselves, while also experiencing the consequences of those choices. That is the best way to learn. Some of the most valuable lessons I've experienced in my life came from the choices that I made, and what I learned as a result of those choices. 

It is also important for children to be able to set boundaries for themselves. To set a thick line in the sand, saying "I am not going to cross this line." As kids, they're a lot more susceptible to peer pressure and outside influences, meaning it is much more crucial to teaching them to be more assertive and to not let other people step on their toes and tell them what to do. Especially if it goes against the rules that the parents have enforced on the home. They also need to be taught forgiveness. This also another extremely important principle, yet I've always wondered how to effectively teach that to children. I'm often led to ponder on how Jesus emphasized this principle during his ministry. He is the epitome of forgiveness, and perfectly demonstrated it, even to people who wanted to kill him. The reason he taught forgiveness so well is because he exemplified it in all of his behavior. Parents also need to set an example in the home for their children to follow. Including forgiveness. Simply explaining forgiveness to someone isn't enough for them to suddenly go out and start forgiving everyone. They need a real-life example that they can look up to. 

The list can go on and on. What to teach our children. What to avoid. It can get unnecessarily complicated. However, just as I mentioned before, the Savior emphasized all of the principles of a perfect teacher. A perfect parent. If you emulate his example in word and in deed, then there is no way you can lead your children astray. 

Anyways, that is all for my blog post. I hope you enjoyed it this week and I'll talk to you all next time!